Young people and students
Absorption center for young adults and students tel 8377481
WWII Veterans
Disabled citizens
Absorption center for young adults and students tel 8377481
WWII Veterans
Disabled citizens
Hole Oleh
Beware!
Beware!
Those who made it to the port of Haifa (Exodus) and
those who could not (Egoz)
those who could not (Egoz)
Haifa is known in Israel as the town where one works.
In Jerusalem people pray, in Tel-Aviv people have fun, in Haifa people work.
But we can say that in Haifa it is possible to pray, to have fun and of course, to work!
In Jerusalem people pray, in Tel-Aviv people have fun, in Haifa people work.
But we can say that in Haifa it is possible to pray, to have fun and of course, to work!
| Haifa, the place for Aliya |
| . |
Haifa: Aliyah
Immigrants at Shaar Ha Alyiah
| The State of Israel will be open for the Alya of Jews and for the Ingathering of Exiles Proclamation of Independance , 5 Yiar Tasha'h -14/5/1948 |
"Rights of return" , incentives to returning Israelis
Toshav Hozer, site for returning citizens, with lots of informations
for new immigrants
Toshav Hozer, site for returning citizens, with lots of informations
for new immigrants
| Haifa is waiting for you |
| Haifa's mayor welcomes olim |
Mrs Ketty Pardo Roques and Yoline Goldberg
| Haifa, a town of integration |
| Practical informations |
| Jewish Agency |
| Formalities |
Haifa municipality Ketty Pardo-Rocques, and Yoline Goldberg
Haifa University , Annette Shahar
Technion academic preparatory year and undergraduate studies , Muli Dotan
Technion graduate studies , Rodika Levy
Employment Hanoch Ben Haim . Look at our pages Employment , Jobalia and Economy
Haifa University , Annette Shahar
Technion academic preparatory year and undergraduate studies , Muli Dotan
Technion graduate studies , Rodika Levy
Employment Hanoch Ben Haim . Look at our pages Employment , Jobalia and Economy
| Help in Haifa |
| Official and voluntary organisations |
Mr Zeev Boim, Minister of Integrationa and Yonah Yahav, Mayor of Haifa, meet new
immigrants at Haifa Municipality
immigrants at Haifa Municipality
New immigrants who speakEnglish or French receive help at the Information Center of the
Jewish Agency,131, HaMeguinim, Haifa : translation of announcements in newspapers,
contacts, writing of the CV etc..
Contact Alex: 04-8567606 Sundays 13:00-15:30 and Tuesdays 9:30-13:00
Look at our pages to find links about empolyment : Employment et Economy , and
employment offers
Jewish Agency,131, HaMeguinim, Haifa : translation of announcements in newspapers,
contacts, writing of the CV etc..
Contact Alex: 04-8567606 Sundays 13:00-15:30 and Tuesdays 9:30-13:00
Look at our pages to find links about empolyment : Employment et Economy , and
employment offers
| Employment |
| It is not always easy |
| History |
Ministry of Integration 24/24 apart from shabbat and holidays 03-9733333 then 6
Ministry of absorption in Haifa
Pal Yam 15, tel:8632323 fax 8632336
Ministry of absorption in Kyriat Bialik,
Hameyasdim 7 tel 8807400 fax 8742957
First steps
Integration basket
Calendar of formalities addresses in Haifa, office opening hours
Ministry of absorption in Haifa
Pal Yam 15, tel:8632323 fax 8632336
Ministry of absorption in Kyriat Bialik,
Hameyasdim 7 tel 8807400 fax 8742957
First steps
Integration basket
Calendar of formalities addresses in Haifa, office opening hours
| Ministry of Integration |
Association of Americans and Canadians in Israel
AACI counselor - Yanina Musnikow is available every Monday from 10
A.M to 3 P.M . at Merkaz Meda, 131 Hameginim. (04) 856-7638
Information on housing, schools, ulpan, job, immigrant rights, etc.
AACI absorption volunteer - Laurie Rubin, (04) 825-7690 or
WIZO
Hagshama
Masa Israel
Keren Hayesod
Archives
CafeOleh du Jerusalem Post
AMI
Leavi
Nefeshb'nefesh
Taglit
AACI counselor - Yanina Musnikow is available every Monday from 10
A.M to 3 P.M . at Merkaz Meda, 131 Hameginim. (04) 856-7638
Information on housing, schools, ulpan, job, immigrant rights, etc.
AACI absorption volunteer - Laurie Rubin, (04) 825-7690 or
WIZO
Hagshama
Masa Israel
Keren Hayesod
Archives
CafeOleh du Jerusalem Post
AMI
Leavi
Nefeshb'nefesh
Taglit
According to the needs of the work market, retraining courses take place. Retraining course for
academics:nursing
We keep you aware of these courses. See our page Employment for updated events
academics:nursing
We keep you aware of these courses. See our page Employment for updated events
| Some articles from the Jerusalem Post and from Haaretz |
From Haaretz 20/09/2005
Survival guide - your tips on expecting the unexpected in Israel
Spread the wisdom of your experience with other hapless souls - e-mail us your solutions to Israeli life's little crises.
How to survive being a kibbutz volunteer
Whatever overly-romantic Zionist illusions of communal brotherhood you may have had upon arrival at Ben-Gurion; realize that
when you arrive at your kibbutz, at least at first, the kibbutzniks are going to act as if you have cholera.
You must earn your place among them just as they
have had to do with each other. All the rosy colored pictures from the sixties of flowered haired girls and guitars around the fire
are most of the time a thing of the past.
But, if you work hard and keep an open, friendly
attitude, your indentured servitude just might turn into that elusive sense of community that you came for in the first place. I
wouldn't trade it for anything in the world.
Sean Eatherton (ex-volunteer Kibbutz Ketura)
How to Survive Being a Kibbutz Volunteer Part 2
So you've arrived at the kibbutz. A little aprehensive and a lot jet lagged..
1. Accomodations: If you're lucky the inhabitants before you were a couple steps up from cave men and left your new bayit
(house) in some what livable conditions. If you're not, it's best to probably shack up with those bedouin you passed on the way
and commute to the kibbutz. Which, ironically, many people DO commute to kibbutz. Add to this that you're crammed three to a
bedroom and I'm sure you can do the math.
2.Roommates: These can be a blessing or a curse depending on YOU. If you came to kibbutz to get a tan, drink some beer, smoke
some nargila and get warm and fuzzy with a fellow volunteer and not much else, than you've come to the right place. If you came
for some crazy Socialist labor fest where you commune with your fellow volunteers and stay up all night discussing your
contribution to Israeli society than I'd have to say there's probably an organic farm in Denmark with your name on it. Another
lovely side effect of your house companions is emotional conflict. Please refer to references about alcohol and sleeping
arrangments above to appreciate the full nature of how this makes your stay oh so much fun.
3. Work: Ah yes... the reason why the kibbutzniks are begrudgingly letting you stay on their farm to begin with.....you're basically
working for them for free. Now of course your are being fed and given board, but this is up for interpretation. Depending on how
long you're there( which averages from two to six months)this will determine the work you do. Longer stays usually qualify you
for the dairy farm or "refet" because this takes a little more training than the dining hall. A note on the Dining Hall ( or as I like
to call it "The place where volunteers go to die") Almost everyone including the kibbutzniks themselves work in the Dining Hall.
If you can, try as soon as possible to get assigned to other work.....you may think that the fancy dish washing machine and air
conditioning are worth the bargain, but trust me....get other work. If anything, get out of the Dining Hall so you can work and get
to meet with that most elusive of species for the volunteer...the kibbutznik.
4. The Kibbutzniks: If you're like me you came to a kibbutz to do one thing over all others;to make a connection with the country
and even more, the people. So upon arrival at kibbutz and in your first couple of weeks you might be quite shocked and dismayed
by the way the kibbutzniks treat you and think of you. This attitude can range from aloof to surrly to down right beligerent. But
don't get discouraged. You will soon discover that this is how most Israelis treat each other anyway and to not take it personally.
Also this is just the preliminary period for the kibbutzniks to figure out if you are volunteer type # 1 or type # 2 that I referred to at
the beginning. For kibbutzniks, volunteer #1 is just eating their food, drinking their water and being a regular pain in the tuchis
by consistantly not showing up to work on time. But if you show proof that you are the starry eyed idealist whose showing up a
half hour early just to "help out" you just might, if you're not careful, be asked to stay on full time.
Do not be put off by these musings about the ups and downs of kibbutz volunteering. Any grief experienced is still in my opinion
worth it. As long as you know what you're getting into you'll do great. These may or may not be words of wisdom, but they are
the truth.
Sean Eatherton (ex-volunteer Kibbutz Ketura)
How to Survive Israeli Drivers
Take the train.
It runs contrary to all Israeli expectations:
It arrives on time. It's quiet. It's safe. It's clean. It's comfortable. It tells you it's going to do something, and it does it.
Samuel Kalman, Nataf
How to Survive Israeli Drivers II
Have you ever pulled up to a red light in Israel only to notice that the driver of the car next to you is staring at you? No, he is not
a carjacker. Nor does he consider you to be particularly attractive or ugly.
This is merely Israeli-style etiquette. The proper response is to stare back and hold his gaze for at least 30 seconds, or until the
driver behind you indicates by honking his horn that the light is about to turn green. (Beware: This is habit-forming. You may
want to practice not staring before taking a trip abroad.)
Should the driver in the next car yell, "At/a mocher/et? [Are you selling?]," he or she means your car - not your body.
Pnina Beili, Har Adar
One Way Streets - No Way
You're going on a road trip and you've checked out the map to make sure you are aware of all the one way streets. You assume
everyone does the same, right? Wrong! Don't be surprised to see 1) another car coming straight at you 2) someone backing up the
street towards you 3) someone turning out of a laneway coming straight towards you. Also note that anyone of these vehicles may
be a moving van, local garbage truck, speeding Mazda or, the worst and most dangerous, any one of the aforementioned on their
cellphone. Survival tip: be like Linda Blair in the Exorcist - Merle Shewchuk, Herzliya
How to Survive the Interior Ministry
Play dumb - nothing irritates them more than a know-it-all and nothing inspires sympathy more than a helpless immigrant.
Take a deck of cards for those long queues - everyone is waiting and no one else is prepared. You might even make a friend or
two.
Don't get there too early. The opening rush will have dispersed by about 10A.M. - under no circumstances be there at 7.
Lucy Roth, Jerusalem
How to Survive the Interior Ministry II
First take a number. As soon as you get in the door. (Numbers come out of a machine familiar to those of you abroad who
frequent very crowded delis.)
Then do the math: Multiply the difference between your number and the number that is being served by two. Divide that number
by the number of disgruntled clerks "serving" the public. This gives you a conservative estimate of the amount of time that you
have to run to the nearest coffee bar for a latte and croissant.
Thrill seekers may multiply the first number by three. But beware: If you miss your place in line, you may be asked to take a new
number and go back to the beginning, Parcheesi style, or do battle with chair-throwing Jews from all four corners of the globe to
protect your former position in line.
Second: Take pens. They come in very handy for filling out those nasty forms, and can be traded for favors. Example: There are
some who collect number slips, just in case, and will trade you a number better than the one you have for the use of a pen. (You
may also meet someone. That's why you came here, isn't it?)
The advice above works in all bureaucratic settings in Israel, including health clinics, but I wouldn't go looking in the latter
setting for a date.
Rosie, Jerusalem
Survive the Interior Ministry - The Real Way
The REAL way to survive the Interior Ministry, especially if you are not a citizen yet and need to go to the visa section, is to get
the security guard to put your name on the list the day before at the visa section at the Misrad HaP'nim in Tel Aviv, there is - or
was - a list that you had to sign up on starting from about 6 A.M. which was taped to the wall next to the front door.
I reasoned that they can't just have it there and someone must be there to make sure the list doesn't get torn down. I asked the
security guard at the building about this, and he magically produced the list which I signed right there - making me first on the
list. Then you just have to show up maybe half-an-hour before so that when they open the doors its as fresh as a daisy instead of
getting up in the middle of the night to go and wait in line outside the Shalom Tower at 6 A.M.
Malaika Martin, NYC, formerly of Tel Aviv
How to Survive Lines in Israel
You will at some point find yourself on a long line somewhere (in the post-office, the showers at the neighborhood pool, the bank)
when someone will approach you from behind, ascertain whether you are the last one, announce, "I'm after you." and vanish.
Now, if you remain silent, he will consider you official keeper- of- his- spot- on-line." Consequently, when he returns and jumps
ahead of everyone who arrived while he was out doing other errands, he will call upon you to defend his position.
On other occasions, when you are finally about to be served, after a half-hour or more wait, someone will appear out of nowhere,
plonk himself in front of you, and announce, "I was here." If you challenge him, he will, in his defense, tap the person ahead of
youand remind him, "Wasn't I after you?" and elicit the reinforcing "Yes, of course, you were."
"You can either act Israeli and oblige these line-crashers or you can - as I always do - attempt to educate them as to
internationally accepted line-waiting ethics. Expect the old "But this is the way it's done here" along with a tirade of expletives,
but at least you'll get the satisfaction of having contributed to the eventual improvement of quality of life in this country.
Frimet Roth
Wear your New Immigrant-ness openly
As a recent Olah Chadasha [new immigrant] (Jan 2005) I have found 2 great survival techniques. The first is to introduce
yourself as an Olah Hadasha/ Oleh Hadash. This conversation entry point gives me an edge during any interaction be it on the
street, in Ministries (as noted in the article) in restaurants and stores.
Israelis seem to be so shocked that anyone would leave the comforts of North America (in my case Canada) to a new life in Israel,
that they will do anything to prove to you that everything you've heard (or read) about them is untrue. I'm not sure what the
acceptable duration is for this tip (ie: 6 months, 1 year, 5 years) but, hey, who would ever know the difference?
The second tip, speak English. Israelis are desparate to improve their English and, as such, I've even had apologies given to me in
Tel Aviv when a spot was not available in a parking lot! Imagine that!
Merle Shewchuk, Herzliya
How to survive Israeli men
Cute, but dangerous - be prepared for the fact that Israeli men will say, do and try absolutely anything to get what they want. This
includes flattery beyond anything ever heard before, wining and dining, and - depending on their area of employment - free
services e.g. haircuts, taxi rides, bus rides, donkey rides, photographs (of you), clothes, massages and a weekend in Eilat or, if
you're unlucky, Ashdod.
But be warned - if they do get what they want they will either a) suddenly disappear never to be seen or heard of again, or b) hook
up with someone else (even whilst you are out with them), and dump you unceremoniously (even if you are in Eilat).
Alternatively, if they don't get what they want, they will a) suddenly disappear never to be seen or heard of again, or b) hook up
with someone else...
You have been warned!
Ilana Berkowitz
Regarding Israel men: I believe that in every part of the world you will find the positives and the negatives of life. You are saying
that Israeli men are aggressive and forward. What about the French and the Italian men?
If you treat people with respect, you will be treated with respect, also.
Any lady, young or older must protect herself no matter what.
Ida
How to survive israeli women
The Israeli female species is one of the world's toughest codes to crack. The criminal underworld have succeeded in deciphering
some of the most difficult codes in the world but find themselves completely stumped with the Israeli woman.
Going out to a bar or pub in Israel with the intention of finding yourself a female to snuggle next to, may take time to perfect. The
Israeli woman is used to getting her way and being gawked at by every male on the premises. There are two ways to approach this
situation.
If you are short on money and a female asks you to buy a drink for them (this usually occurs before the formal introduction
stage), then ignore them, act disinterested but every now and then look in their direction. If you find her looking at you more than
twice then you're in. If it's less, you may have to look elsewhere. The initial disinterest is sure to frustrate the Israeli female, who
is used to gettting what she wants, making you more of a challenge then the average sleazy Israeli male. The rule of two glances
is commonly known to Israelis in general, so by looking at her from a distance she is going to be confused, frustrated and curious
all at once. A task that is particularly easy to do.
If she strikes up a conversation then be sure to keep it simple. The average Israeli woman is very rarely interested in any topic
over two syllables. Topics such as shopping, cars, clothes and beaches are all safe topics of conversation. Topics like education,
politics, human rights and animal liberation are absolute no-no's. Chances are if you attempt the latter you will be met with a
blank look, a smile and a childish ditsy giggle.
The other situation you may find yourself in, is that you have money. Rest assured that if they sense this, your wallet will soon be
as dry as The Great Sandy Desert. If you buy them a drink you will find them talking to you and acting disinterested, all at the
same time. Don't be alarmed; it is their way of leading you on. All you have to do is walk five meters and dance next to another
member of the species without losing sight of the first Israeli female. Give her one minute of looking at you then walk over, grab
her hand, hold her close and there's a good chance she'll be yours.
If all else fails call their game. Israeli women are like an out-of-date krembo. Tough to crack through the outside layer, but once
you're through, they are a bunch of softies. Ask them bluntly why they pretend to be tough and play so hard to get when it is
merely a front for their own insecurities? This can only be used in extreme circumstances and is not the initiating question.
Remember just like the topics of conversation they are not used to confrontation.
Good luck guys and girls, we hope you can succeed where many a foreigner has failed!
Simon Trainor.
How to survive Israeli university
The Israeli university experience: Bureacracy, bafflement, and beyond.
I spent half of high school dreaming about being a university student. I could see myself demurely sipping espresso on the verdant
campus grounds while discussing the latest trends in politics with my fellow students in chic sweater vests and ripped jeans.
When I left America at the tender age of eighteen to continue my education at an university in Israel, I was excited and optimistic
about my future. University was supposed to be the place where all my dreams would come true. But from the moment I stepped
onto the campus, all my meticulously-crafted plans seemed to fall to pieces. In the end, Israeli university is where all my worst
nightmares came true.
I quickly learned to lower my expectations in my charming new setting. After a few weeks of being mistreated in the
administrative offices, being shoved out of lines in the cafeteria by my dear, fellow students, and registering for my classes three
times in a row (my records were continuously misplaced), I accepted the fact that Dorothy was not in Kansas anymore.
And, now, as a more seasoned Israeli student, I will give you the Dos and Don'ts of Israeli university:
* If the secretary is ignoring you, DO stand in front of her desk, peel your eyelids up to your brows, and stare until she has no
choice but to get creeped out and attend to your needs.
* If someone shoves you out of line at the cafeteria, DO shove back.
* If that someone is your professor, DON'T shove back.
* If youre refused your records at the archive, DO steal them when the administrator isnt looking.
* DON'T feed the cats -- They will follow you to class.
* If youre not getting your way in one of the offices, DO scream and wave your hands around.
* However, DON'T break any chairs -- The secretary will call security.
Yes, its overdramatic, pathetic, and humiliating. But it works! Just remember to breathe and enjoy the ride.
from Haaretz 04/07/2007
Dual loyalty, baseball, and the Israeli psyche
By Bradley Burston
For the immigrant, the majority culture is inevitably despotic. This is not to say that it will in all cases dismiss, ridicule, exploit
and discriminate against the newcomers in its midst. On the contrary, the dominant culture may well be seductive, exhilarating,
even, in rare cases, authentically welcoming. The message, however, stays the same: You're ours, now. Even if we'll never treat
you as one of us, you'd better act as if you were.
This may explain a recent opinion piece in the Jerusalem Post, timed to coincide with the opening game of Israel's first
professional baseball league, entitled "Baseball is too American for us Israelis."
"I did not make aliya to promote American culture in Israel or to live in an American ghetto, but to become part of the Israeli
landscape," writes Brian Freeman, who moved to the Jewish state from the baseball-besotted heartland American city of
Cincinnati, Ohio 18 years ago.
The cultural baggage which Freeman left in Ben-Gurion airport's Arrivals area included more than his childhood love of the
arcane sport, which could be said to be the common religion of North American Jewry.
He also stopped observing such holidays as Thanksgiving, "or any of the other customs left behind. Frankly, I don't understand
those US immigrants who do it, as if our Israeli/Jewish culture is lacking somehow."
One way to deal with this is to give up and give in. Brian Freeman has solved his problem by sparing his children the culture of
his birth. "Why should I create a dual identity for them? The idea of moving here was to have an Israeli identity and not continue
as if I was still living in the Old Country."
Well and good. Except that this country, this culture, this very Israeliness was built of, and immensely enriched by, the cultures of
the people who left distant homes to come here. And for all that Israelis and, for that matter, North Americans, may look down
on North American culture, there may well be something in it for Israelis.
Or take as an example a game for which Israelis have no patience. What on earth could baseball have to teach them? Herewith,
some possibilities:
You think you know your opponent. Think again.
You think you know yourself. Think again.
Respect patience.
Respect practice.
Acknowledge error.
Respect opponents.
Respect rules.
Respect teammates.
Respect activities foreign to your experience.
Learn to use your hands, not just your feet.
Learn to take advice.
Learn to evaluate and internalize criticism.
Respect self-discipline.
That is, appreciate and adopt the ability to temper personal ambition for the good of the collective. This is similar to
Sacrifice for the common good is not always the act of a sucker.
In the end, trying to spare your kids a dual identity may not be the wisest choice. There may be a type of cultural dual loyalty
which we possess whether we like it or not. There's something to be said for embracing it.
Even that November Maimouna of ours called Thanksgiving. Even the hated strain of Americanism can have its moments,
among them, this commemoration of disparate people helping each other through hard times, people of different backgrounds,
outlooks, customs - people who could be enemies - celebrating the fact of being alive, and together.
There's worse things than dual loyalty to so-existing cultures. One of them is denial. Try what you like, you can take the oleh out
of America, but you can't take America out of the oleh.
Former Israeli Ambassador to the United States, Daniel Ayalon, has been appointed co-chair of Nefesh B'Nefesh, the
Jerusalem-based aliya organization announced yesterday.
In an interview with Haaretz following the appointment, Ayalon said, "It is not unrealistic to think of a million Jews"
immigrating to Israel by 2020 - a goal he calls "important politically and strategically."
"Look at Europe and there are many uncertainties there," he said. "It is a great reservoir (for aliyah)."
NBN is now active in North America and the UK, but Ayalon believes that the possibility of expanding the organization "should
be discussed and analyzed." "Every country and every [Jewish] community around the globe could benefit" from the
organization, he said. He would not specify a country, however.
Though the position is unpaid, Ayalon insisted that he would have an active "full time" job in which he would be far more that
just a figurehead.
"I have been asked to advise and consult for business, but my main focus is on Nefesh," he said. "Part of the way I saw myself in
Washington was not staying in the bubble in Washington, but rather reaching out and visiting communities. I intend to do that
now."
Ayalon said that a key focus would be "raising awareness" among the Israeli public to "open up their hearts and minds to olim
[immigrants]" so that the new arrivals feel welcome here. Ayalon, whose U.S. posting came to an end in November, has been
succeeded in Washington by Ambassador Sallai Meridor, who is former chair of the Jewish Agency.
He will be honored Sunday at a celebration in Washington, where President George W. Bush is set to be keynote speaker.
Though overall immigration rates for 2006 constituted an 18-year low, numbers from North America and the UK were the
highest in more than two decades, with 3,200 and 720 arrivals respectively. Last month, the organization also celebrated the
processing of its 10,000th immigrant.
Survival guide - your tips on expecting the unexpected in Israel
Spread the wisdom of your experience with other hapless souls - e-mail us your solutions to Israeli life's little crises.
How to survive being a kibbutz volunteer
Whatever overly-romantic Zionist illusions of communal brotherhood you may have had upon arrival at Ben-Gurion; realize that
when you arrive at your kibbutz, at least at first, the kibbutzniks are going to act as if you have cholera.
You must earn your place among them just as they
have had to do with each other. All the rosy colored pictures from the sixties of flowered haired girls and guitars around the fire
are most of the time a thing of the past.
But, if you work hard and keep an open, friendly
attitude, your indentured servitude just might turn into that elusive sense of community that you came for in the first place. I
wouldn't trade it for anything in the world.
Sean Eatherton (ex-volunteer Kibbutz Ketura)
How to Survive Being a Kibbutz Volunteer Part 2
So you've arrived at the kibbutz. A little aprehensive and a lot jet lagged..
1. Accomodations: If you're lucky the inhabitants before you were a couple steps up from cave men and left your new bayit
(house) in some what livable conditions. If you're not, it's best to probably shack up with those bedouin you passed on the way
and commute to the kibbutz. Which, ironically, many people DO commute to kibbutz. Add to this that you're crammed three to a
bedroom and I'm sure you can do the math.
2.Roommates: These can be a blessing or a curse depending on YOU. If you came to kibbutz to get a tan, drink some beer, smoke
some nargila and get warm and fuzzy with a fellow volunteer and not much else, than you've come to the right place. If you came
for some crazy Socialist labor fest where you commune with your fellow volunteers and stay up all night discussing your
contribution to Israeli society than I'd have to say there's probably an organic farm in Denmark with your name on it. Another
lovely side effect of your house companions is emotional conflict. Please refer to references about alcohol and sleeping
arrangments above to appreciate the full nature of how this makes your stay oh so much fun.
3. Work: Ah yes... the reason why the kibbutzniks are begrudgingly letting you stay on their farm to begin with.....you're basically
working for them for free. Now of course your are being fed and given board, but this is up for interpretation. Depending on how
long you're there( which averages from two to six months)this will determine the work you do. Longer stays usually qualify you
for the dairy farm or "refet" because this takes a little more training than the dining hall. A note on the Dining Hall ( or as I like
to call it "The place where volunteers go to die") Almost everyone including the kibbutzniks themselves work in the Dining Hall.
If you can, try as soon as possible to get assigned to other work.....you may think that the fancy dish washing machine and air
conditioning are worth the bargain, but trust me....get other work. If anything, get out of the Dining Hall so you can work and get
to meet with that most elusive of species for the volunteer...the kibbutznik.
4. The Kibbutzniks: If you're like me you came to a kibbutz to do one thing over all others;to make a connection with the country
and even more, the people. So upon arrival at kibbutz and in your first couple of weeks you might be quite shocked and dismayed
by the way the kibbutzniks treat you and think of you. This attitude can range from aloof to surrly to down right beligerent. But
don't get discouraged. You will soon discover that this is how most Israelis treat each other anyway and to not take it personally.
Also this is just the preliminary period for the kibbutzniks to figure out if you are volunteer type # 1 or type # 2 that I referred to at
the beginning. For kibbutzniks, volunteer #1 is just eating their food, drinking their water and being a regular pain in the tuchis
by consistantly not showing up to work on time. But if you show proof that you are the starry eyed idealist whose showing up a
half hour early just to "help out" you just might, if you're not careful, be asked to stay on full time.
Do not be put off by these musings about the ups and downs of kibbutz volunteering. Any grief experienced is still in my opinion
worth it. As long as you know what you're getting into you'll do great. These may or may not be words of wisdom, but they are
the truth.
Sean Eatherton (ex-volunteer Kibbutz Ketura)
How to Survive Israeli Drivers
Take the train.
It runs contrary to all Israeli expectations:
It arrives on time. It's quiet. It's safe. It's clean. It's comfortable. It tells you it's going to do something, and it does it.
Samuel Kalman, Nataf
How to Survive Israeli Drivers II
Have you ever pulled up to a red light in Israel only to notice that the driver of the car next to you is staring at you? No, he is not
a carjacker. Nor does he consider you to be particularly attractive or ugly.
This is merely Israeli-style etiquette. The proper response is to stare back and hold his gaze for at least 30 seconds, or until the
driver behind you indicates by honking his horn that the light is about to turn green. (Beware: This is habit-forming. You may
want to practice not staring before taking a trip abroad.)
Should the driver in the next car yell, "At/a mocher/et? [Are you selling?]," he or she means your car - not your body.
Pnina Beili, Har Adar
One Way Streets - No Way
You're going on a road trip and you've checked out the map to make sure you are aware of all the one way streets. You assume
everyone does the same, right? Wrong! Don't be surprised to see 1) another car coming straight at you 2) someone backing up the
street towards you 3) someone turning out of a laneway coming straight towards you. Also note that anyone of these vehicles may
be a moving van, local garbage truck, speeding Mazda or, the worst and most dangerous, any one of the aforementioned on their
cellphone. Survival tip: be like Linda Blair in the Exorcist - Merle Shewchuk, Herzliya
How to Survive the Interior Ministry
Play dumb - nothing irritates them more than a know-it-all and nothing inspires sympathy more than a helpless immigrant.
Take a deck of cards for those long queues - everyone is waiting and no one else is prepared. You might even make a friend or
two.
Don't get there too early. The opening rush will have dispersed by about 10A.M. - under no circumstances be there at 7.
Lucy Roth, Jerusalem
How to Survive the Interior Ministry II
First take a number. As soon as you get in the door. (Numbers come out of a machine familiar to those of you abroad who
frequent very crowded delis.)
Then do the math: Multiply the difference between your number and the number that is being served by two. Divide that number
by the number of disgruntled clerks "serving" the public. This gives you a conservative estimate of the amount of time that you
have to run to the nearest coffee bar for a latte and croissant.
Thrill seekers may multiply the first number by three. But beware: If you miss your place in line, you may be asked to take a new
number and go back to the beginning, Parcheesi style, or do battle with chair-throwing Jews from all four corners of the globe to
protect your former position in line.
Second: Take pens. They come in very handy for filling out those nasty forms, and can be traded for favors. Example: There are
some who collect number slips, just in case, and will trade you a number better than the one you have for the use of a pen. (You
may also meet someone. That's why you came here, isn't it?)
The advice above works in all bureaucratic settings in Israel, including health clinics, but I wouldn't go looking in the latter
setting for a date.
Rosie, Jerusalem
Survive the Interior Ministry - The Real Way
The REAL way to survive the Interior Ministry, especially if you are not a citizen yet and need to go to the visa section, is to get
the security guard to put your name on the list the day before at the visa section at the Misrad HaP'nim in Tel Aviv, there is - or
was - a list that you had to sign up on starting from about 6 A.M. which was taped to the wall next to the front door.
I reasoned that they can't just have it there and someone must be there to make sure the list doesn't get torn down. I asked the
security guard at the building about this, and he magically produced the list which I signed right there - making me first on the
list. Then you just have to show up maybe half-an-hour before so that when they open the doors its as fresh as a daisy instead of
getting up in the middle of the night to go and wait in line outside the Shalom Tower at 6 A.M.
Malaika Martin, NYC, formerly of Tel Aviv
How to Survive Lines in Israel
You will at some point find yourself on a long line somewhere (in the post-office, the showers at the neighborhood pool, the bank)
when someone will approach you from behind, ascertain whether you are the last one, announce, "I'm after you." and vanish.
Now, if you remain silent, he will consider you official keeper- of- his- spot- on-line." Consequently, when he returns and jumps
ahead of everyone who arrived while he was out doing other errands, he will call upon you to defend his position.
On other occasions, when you are finally about to be served, after a half-hour or more wait, someone will appear out of nowhere,
plonk himself in front of you, and announce, "I was here." If you challenge him, he will, in his defense, tap the person ahead of
youand remind him, "Wasn't I after you?" and elicit the reinforcing "Yes, of course, you were."
"You can either act Israeli and oblige these line-crashers or you can - as I always do - attempt to educate them as to
internationally accepted line-waiting ethics. Expect the old "But this is the way it's done here" along with a tirade of expletives,
but at least you'll get the satisfaction of having contributed to the eventual improvement of quality of life in this country.
Frimet Roth
Wear your New Immigrant-ness openly
As a recent Olah Chadasha [new immigrant] (Jan 2005) I have found 2 great survival techniques. The first is to introduce
yourself as an Olah Hadasha/ Oleh Hadash. This conversation entry point gives me an edge during any interaction be it on the
street, in Ministries (as noted in the article) in restaurants and stores.
Israelis seem to be so shocked that anyone would leave the comforts of North America (in my case Canada) to a new life in Israel,
that they will do anything to prove to you that everything you've heard (or read) about them is untrue. I'm not sure what the
acceptable duration is for this tip (ie: 6 months, 1 year, 5 years) but, hey, who would ever know the difference?
The second tip, speak English. Israelis are desparate to improve their English and, as such, I've even had apologies given to me in
Tel Aviv when a spot was not available in a parking lot! Imagine that!
Merle Shewchuk, Herzliya
How to survive Israeli men
Cute, but dangerous - be prepared for the fact that Israeli men will say, do and try absolutely anything to get what they want. This
includes flattery beyond anything ever heard before, wining and dining, and - depending on their area of employment - free
services e.g. haircuts, taxi rides, bus rides, donkey rides, photographs (of you), clothes, massages and a weekend in Eilat or, if
you're unlucky, Ashdod.
But be warned - if they do get what they want they will either a) suddenly disappear never to be seen or heard of again, or b) hook
up with someone else (even whilst you are out with them), and dump you unceremoniously (even if you are in Eilat).
Alternatively, if they don't get what they want, they will a) suddenly disappear never to be seen or heard of again, or b) hook up
with someone else...
You have been warned!
Ilana Berkowitz
Regarding Israel men: I believe that in every part of the world you will find the positives and the negatives of life. You are saying
that Israeli men are aggressive and forward. What about the French and the Italian men?
If you treat people with respect, you will be treated with respect, also.
Any lady, young or older must protect herself no matter what.
Ida
How to survive israeli women
The Israeli female species is one of the world's toughest codes to crack. The criminal underworld have succeeded in deciphering
some of the most difficult codes in the world but find themselves completely stumped with the Israeli woman.
Going out to a bar or pub in Israel with the intention of finding yourself a female to snuggle next to, may take time to perfect. The
Israeli woman is used to getting her way and being gawked at by every male on the premises. There are two ways to approach this
situation.
If you are short on money and a female asks you to buy a drink for them (this usually occurs before the formal introduction
stage), then ignore them, act disinterested but every now and then look in their direction. If you find her looking at you more than
twice then you're in. If it's less, you may have to look elsewhere. The initial disinterest is sure to frustrate the Israeli female, who
is used to gettting what she wants, making you more of a challenge then the average sleazy Israeli male. The rule of two glances
is commonly known to Israelis in general, so by looking at her from a distance she is going to be confused, frustrated and curious
all at once. A task that is particularly easy to do.
If she strikes up a conversation then be sure to keep it simple. The average Israeli woman is very rarely interested in any topic
over two syllables. Topics such as shopping, cars, clothes and beaches are all safe topics of conversation. Topics like education,
politics, human rights and animal liberation are absolute no-no's. Chances are if you attempt the latter you will be met with a
blank look, a smile and a childish ditsy giggle.
The other situation you may find yourself in, is that you have money. Rest assured that if they sense this, your wallet will soon be
as dry as The Great Sandy Desert. If you buy them a drink you will find them talking to you and acting disinterested, all at the
same time. Don't be alarmed; it is their way of leading you on. All you have to do is walk five meters and dance next to another
member of the species without losing sight of the first Israeli female. Give her one minute of looking at you then walk over, grab
her hand, hold her close and there's a good chance she'll be yours.
If all else fails call their game. Israeli women are like an out-of-date krembo. Tough to crack through the outside layer, but once
you're through, they are a bunch of softies. Ask them bluntly why they pretend to be tough and play so hard to get when it is
merely a front for their own insecurities? This can only be used in extreme circumstances and is not the initiating question.
Remember just like the topics of conversation they are not used to confrontation.
Good luck guys and girls, we hope you can succeed where many a foreigner has failed!
Simon Trainor.
How to survive Israeli university
The Israeli university experience: Bureacracy, bafflement, and beyond.
I spent half of high school dreaming about being a university student. I could see myself demurely sipping espresso on the verdant
campus grounds while discussing the latest trends in politics with my fellow students in chic sweater vests and ripped jeans.
When I left America at the tender age of eighteen to continue my education at an university in Israel, I was excited and optimistic
about my future. University was supposed to be the place where all my dreams would come true. But from the moment I stepped
onto the campus, all my meticulously-crafted plans seemed to fall to pieces. In the end, Israeli university is where all my worst
nightmares came true.
I quickly learned to lower my expectations in my charming new setting. After a few weeks of being mistreated in the
administrative offices, being shoved out of lines in the cafeteria by my dear, fellow students, and registering for my classes three
times in a row (my records were continuously misplaced), I accepted the fact that Dorothy was not in Kansas anymore.
And, now, as a more seasoned Israeli student, I will give you the Dos and Don'ts of Israeli university:
* If the secretary is ignoring you, DO stand in front of her desk, peel your eyelids up to your brows, and stare until she has no
choice but to get creeped out and attend to your needs.
* If someone shoves you out of line at the cafeteria, DO shove back.
* If that someone is your professor, DON'T shove back.
* If youre refused your records at the archive, DO steal them when the administrator isnt looking.
* DON'T feed the cats -- They will follow you to class.
* If youre not getting your way in one of the offices, DO scream and wave your hands around.
* However, DON'T break any chairs -- The secretary will call security.
Yes, its overdramatic, pathetic, and humiliating. But it works! Just remember to breathe and enjoy the ride.
from Haaretz 04/07/2007
Dual loyalty, baseball, and the Israeli psyche
By Bradley Burston
For the immigrant, the majority culture is inevitably despotic. This is not to say that it will in all cases dismiss, ridicule, exploit
and discriminate against the newcomers in its midst. On the contrary, the dominant culture may well be seductive, exhilarating,
even, in rare cases, authentically welcoming. The message, however, stays the same: You're ours, now. Even if we'll never treat
you as one of us, you'd better act as if you were.
This may explain a recent opinion piece in the Jerusalem Post, timed to coincide with the opening game of Israel's first
professional baseball league, entitled "Baseball is too American for us Israelis."
"I did not make aliya to promote American culture in Israel or to live in an American ghetto, but to become part of the Israeli
landscape," writes Brian Freeman, who moved to the Jewish state from the baseball-besotted heartland American city of
Cincinnati, Ohio 18 years ago.
The cultural baggage which Freeman left in Ben-Gurion airport's Arrivals area included more than his childhood love of the
arcane sport, which could be said to be the common religion of North American Jewry.
He also stopped observing such holidays as Thanksgiving, "or any of the other customs left behind. Frankly, I don't understand
those US immigrants who do it, as if our Israeli/Jewish culture is lacking somehow."
One way to deal with this is to give up and give in. Brian Freeman has solved his problem by sparing his children the culture of
his birth. "Why should I create a dual identity for them? The idea of moving here was to have an Israeli identity and not continue
as if I was still living in the Old Country."
Well and good. Except that this country, this culture, this very Israeliness was built of, and immensely enriched by, the cultures of
the people who left distant homes to come here. And for all that Israelis and, for that matter, North Americans, may look down
on North American culture, there may well be something in it for Israelis.
Or take as an example a game for which Israelis have no patience. What on earth could baseball have to teach them? Herewith,
some possibilities:
You think you know your opponent. Think again.
You think you know yourself. Think again.
Respect patience.
Respect practice.
Acknowledge error.
Respect opponents.
Respect rules.
Respect teammates.
Respect activities foreign to your experience.
Learn to use your hands, not just your feet.
Learn to take advice.
Learn to evaluate and internalize criticism.
Respect self-discipline.
That is, appreciate and adopt the ability to temper personal ambition for the good of the collective. This is similar to
Sacrifice for the common good is not always the act of a sucker.
In the end, trying to spare your kids a dual identity may not be the wisest choice. There may be a type of cultural dual loyalty
which we possess whether we like it or not. There's something to be said for embracing it.
Even that November Maimouna of ours called Thanksgiving. Even the hated strain of Americanism can have its moments,
among them, this commemoration of disparate people helping each other through hard times, people of different backgrounds,
outlooks, customs - people who could be enemies - celebrating the fact of being alive, and together.
There's worse things than dual loyalty to so-existing cultures. One of them is denial. Try what you like, you can take the oleh out
of America, but you can't take America out of the oleh.
Former Israeli Ambassador to the United States, Daniel Ayalon, has been appointed co-chair of Nefesh B'Nefesh, the
Jerusalem-based aliya organization announced yesterday.
In an interview with Haaretz following the appointment, Ayalon said, "It is not unrealistic to think of a million Jews"
immigrating to Israel by 2020 - a goal he calls "important politically and strategically."
"Look at Europe and there are many uncertainties there," he said. "It is a great reservoir (for aliyah)."
NBN is now active in North America and the UK, but Ayalon believes that the possibility of expanding the organization "should
be discussed and analyzed." "Every country and every [Jewish] community around the globe could benefit" from the
organization, he said. He would not specify a country, however.
Though the position is unpaid, Ayalon insisted that he would have an active "full time" job in which he would be far more that
just a figurehead.
"I have been asked to advise and consult for business, but my main focus is on Nefesh," he said. "Part of the way I saw myself in
Washington was not staying in the bubble in Washington, but rather reaching out and visiting communities. I intend to do that
now."
Ayalon said that a key focus would be "raising awareness" among the Israeli public to "open up their hearts and minds to olim
[immigrants]" so that the new arrivals feel welcome here. Ayalon, whose U.S. posting came to an end in November, has been
succeeded in Washington by Ambassador Sallai Meridor, who is former chair of the Jewish Agency.
He will be honored Sunday at a celebration in Washington, where President George W. Bush is set to be keynote speaker.
Though overall immigration rates for 2006 constituted an 18-year low, numbers from North America and the UK were the
highest in more than two decades, with 3,200 and 720 arrivals respectively. Last month, the organization also celebrated the
processing of its 10,000th immigrant.
We welcome you here and do our best so that you feel at
home and meet new friends
home and meet new friends
Remember that a big part of the Jewish heritage is our sense of humour, even (and especially!!!!) at difficult moments.
| Haifa Municipality Aliya website |